Confusing Alliance
by the real poetic rambler
Summary: When Katniss and Finnick get lost during the 75th Games, will Katniss find the answer to a question that has been bothering her? M for the swearing and I am trying to be safe. Chapter 14 is up. Finnick POV this time. A better glimpse into Johanna Mason.
1. Chapter 1

"How the hell did we get lost? I could hear the water that surrounded the Cornucopia a couple of minutes ago and we ran towards that! Now, we are completely lost! Dammit!"

Finnick and I volunteered to scout the area while Peeta and Mags rested, although it was more like Peeta being in shock from the force field while Mags kept an eye on him. At least we didn't have to worry about him disagreeing with us for now. We thought that it would be a good idea to scout ahead to see the potential spots the Careers can use to try and flank us.

It turned out that this wasn't one of our best ideas, since the Gamemakers must have thrown a couple of curveballs in order to make us disoriented. After all, every single one of the trees were starting to look the same to me. It must have had the same effect on Finnick, since he looked just as confused and far more pissed about it.

"Those fuckers better not be leading us to the Careers. That is all I need. It wouldn't surprise me that the Gamemakers would be trying to force more action, since I haven't heard any cannons go off in a while." Finnick says while slamming a knife into the adjacent tree.

"If you are so worried about being led into a trap, would it be a good idea to keep moving then? We can only leave Peeta and Mags alone for so long." I say worriedly. I want Peeta to get out of this alive and the idea of the sweet, but old Mags being the only thing possibly standing between Peeta and a pack of bloodthirsty Careers is not exactly reassuring.

As if reading my mind, Finnick responds with an air confidence, "Don't worry Katniss. Mags might look old, but she is actually still quite deadly. She knows how to use the strength she has left to be the most effective. After all, she taught me everything I know today."

"Okay, fine. Let's pretend that they are safe. What about us Finnick? We are disoriented, possibly walking in circles and if the Careers don't kill us, something else will!" I start with conviction, but finish with hesitation. I refuse to get close to him, knowing that I will have to kill him once our mutual enemies are dead.

The look on Finnick's face shows me that he knows what I really mean. After all, this is the Hunger Games. It is every man for himself. However, even though I do not love Peeta, I will do anything it takes to make sure that he walks out of here alive. That is the only alliance I care about, the only alliance I can care about.

Finnick's voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Do you love him?"

This question takes me by surprise. Is it that obvious that I don't feel the same way?

I quickly shake the internal debate and answer, "Of course! He and I are star-crossed lovers! We are meant for each other and…"

Finnick interrupts me with a tired voice, "The cameras are not on us right now Everdeen…"

I look at him in surprise as I ask, "Wha… What does that have to do with anything?"

Finnick walks up to me and says, "I know that Peeta loves you. That is obvious. But my question was about whether or not you love him and you didn't answer that. So, I will ask again and try to be honest this time, do you love him?"

I am surprised by his bluntness and that he could see through the façade. So surprised, that I look at him wide eyed and am unable to answer his question.

"Based on your lack of response to my question, I will say no. Which is good for several reasons. Certain people will be thrilled to know that you don't love Lover Boy." Finnick starts his cocky tone, but finishes in an unfamiliar tone.

Once he says that, he notices one of Mags' hooks.

"We are close to camp Katniss. I think Mags is leading us back since we were taking too long. Yep, here is another hook. This way." He says while investigating the ground for anymore of Mags' hooks.

We are almost back to our camp when Finnick's words finally resonate in my head. Before we reach the camp, I grab his arm and ask, "What did you mean when you said 'certain people will be thrilled to know that you don't love Lover Boy'?"

He gives me a genuine smile, which looks far more attractive on his face than his typical arrogant smirk, before he responds with sincerity, "Believe it or not, you have made quite an impact on a certain victor. If you open your eyes and look what is in front of you, you will see who would be thrilled about the news. Come on, let's get back. Don't want to worry Peeta anymore."

As we are walking back, Finnick's words continue to swirl in my head. Was he talking about himself? No, that's impossible. Or is it?

Although he says the answer is plain to see, I am still at a loss. These games, especially this alliance, are getting that much more confusing.


	2. Chapter 2

"Stupid blonde bastard! How dare he fill my head with lies and then not explain those lies! I was perfectly fine before he decided to screw up my life!"

After we returned to camp, Finnick acted like nothing like happened. And I didn't have a chance to obtain more information from him, as the cameras were back on and Peeta had regained consciousness. With the cameras rolling and Peeta awake, I knew that I had to return to my love-struck teen girl form.

No offense to Peeta, but it was a little more nauseating this time after everything that had happened earlier.

Which explains why I am cursing the blonde angel while I am hunting for some food. Blonde angel? What the hell is wrong with me?

My thoughts are interrupted by the man who is consuming them.

"There are many things wrong with you Everdeen. It is just a matter of what flaw to pick on." He responds with a chuckle.

I groan before I ask, "How much did you hear?"

He gives me a thoughtful look before he answers in a good humored tone, "You were mumbling a lot, but I heard something like 'blonde bastard'. That isn't nice to say about Haymitch or Peeta, since I knew that you couldn't have been talking about me. Although I wouldn't mind if I was the 'blonde angel'."

I scowl at him before I ask, "Do you enjoy giving me headaches? Because I am seriously starting to think that you do. First, you flirt with me before the Games. Then, you become a completely different person once the Games start. You save Peeta, only to tell me that 'certain people' would be glad to hear that I don't mgumph!"

My rant is interrupted by Finnick's calloused hand.

He leans in and whispers in my ear, "The cameras are on right now Ms. Everdeen. You have a role to play, as do I. We don't want Snow or anyone else to be able to see past the mask that we are both forced to wear. Might cause some problems. Follow me, I know where the blind spots are around here."

I can easily pick up the salty smell of the ocean off of him while he was whispering, which aggravatingly seems to appeal to my senses more than Peeta's bread smell. What the hell is wrong with me? I need to focus on the Games, to protect Peeta and my family. I don't have time to pine for some guy that I want to strangle at the same time!

Finnick seems to see my annoyance as he says, "I am not going to remove my hand from your mouth until you give me some sort of indication that you agree to shut up for a few moments and follow me."

I roll my eyes and slowly nod my head in response.

"Good. Follow me Ms. Everdeen. I know of this perfect spot to find some decent sized game. But we have to move quickly, as they are only in this spot for short bursts." Finnick whispers loudly for the cameras to pick up.

Once we reach the spot, Finnick holds his hand up to signal me to stay silent a little longer. This lasts a few minutes before he slowly lowers it and says, "We have about 5 minutes until the Gamemakers will sense that something is amiss. Mags is going to cover us to make sure that we have those 5 minutes. Now you can ask me your question."

I glare at him before I ask, "How do know where all the blind spots are?"

I calmly looks at me before he answers, "I could answer you that, but do you really want to waste your 5 minutes on that?"

Shit, he has a point.

He is giving me his cocky 'I know that I am right look' before I ask him the question we both know that I really want to ask.

"Why did you save Peeta, only to tell me that 'certain people' would be glad to know that I don't love him?"

He sighs before giving me a vulnerable look as he answers, "Because although it is clear that you are not in love with him, it is clear that you care greatly for his well-being. Being a victor means that you will lose many things in the process. Your family, your friends, your own sanity will become causalities when you become a victor. I would know. You don't deserve that. For God's sake, this blind spot is the only time where I can be myself! That is what will happen to you once you lose as much as I and the other victors have."

I know time is running out, so I softly ask him one more question.

"But why worry about my sanity though? I am your competition."

He looks me dead in the eye before he answers, "I am like you. I care about the ones I love. Come on, it's time."

Right before we return to camp again, Finnick lightly grabs my wrist. When I look back at him questioningly, he whispers while wearing a slightly distressed look,

"And know this, even though I have survived by lying to those around me, I never would fill your head up with lies."


	3. Chapter 3

"We have been through a lot already guys. We lost some friends and allies, but we will pull through. We have dealt with worse."

It is not comforting to think that the one who is in the most distress is the one comforting people, but Finnick is doing his best to make sure that everyone in the alliance keeps their heads. We have already lost several friends, although we have seemed to gain a few new members of this alliance as well.

We lost Mags in the toxic fog, which nearly destroyed Finnick. We lost Blight, which seems to have at least a slight impact on the otherwise hard shelled Johanna Mason from District 7. And we lost the female Morphling, who for some reason sacrificed herself for Peeta and that fact alone confused me. Why would she protect Peeta, who was her competitor, and give her life for him?

Wiress continues to say "tick tock" during Finnick's speech, which is beginning to wear on Johanna's already thin patience. But right before Johanna could get her axe and kill her, I discover what Wiress is trying to say. The arena is a clock! The traps all make sense now!

"Tick tock. This is a clock." I say once I realize what the cryptic message really means. Every part of the forest is arranged like a clock, with the things that are happening occurring at certain times. It all makes sense now.

Now that we have this information, Beetee from District 3 begins to formulate a plan as to how we can eliminate the Career competition. The others except for Wiress, who decides to sit near the edge of the Cornucopia and continues to say "tick tock", begin to converge around Beetee in order to create a solid plan.

While the rest of the group is creating a plan, I notice that Finnick is distracted. Once he separates himself from the rest of the group to get some air, I follow him in order to check up on him.

"You doing okay Finnick?" I ask, surprised at my genuine concern for his well-being.

Finnick looks surprised as well that I am caring, before he answers, "I am fine. Well, as fine as I am going to be in an arena where I have to kill people. I… I'm fine."

I shake my head at him before I ask in a sarcastic voice, "What happened to being honest with me Odair?"

For some reason, it brings me some joy to see some sort of a smile on his face. Although it was only a partial smile, I still consider it an accomplishment.

Finnick chuckles then answers, "I can't get anything past you, can I Ms. Everdeen? If I didn't know any better, I would hazard a guess that you at least kind of care about me. But that would not make any sort of sense now, would it? That would require the stoic Ms. Everdeen to express an emotion other than annoyance."

This time, it was my turn to laugh. I knew that Finnick wouldn't want to directly talk about his heartbreak over losing Mags, especially since the cameras are on us. But I knew that he cared about her and she cared about him. That is why she sacrificed herself in order for him to live. She was the closest thing that he had to a family. I can kind of relate, since I have lost someone close to me.

We seem to have a relationship now where we can have an off the wall conversation, but we know what the other is talking about. I am annoyed at myself for getting close to the other victors. I am annoyed at myself for getting close to him. I swore that I wouldn't get close to anyone in the games after what… what happened to Rue. But they are starting to grow on me. Even the continuous "tick tock" that Wiress has been doing for the last half hour has been growing on me, but I am glad that she abruptly stopped.

Wait.

As I realize that her stopping abruptly doesn't make any sense, I look over to see Gloss beginning to pull out a knife from Wiress' throat. Without thinking, I pull out my arrow and shoot right into his chest, killing him instantly.

"Katniss! Watch out!" Finnick screams as he shoves me out of the way and flings his trident into Cashmere's chest, killing her instantly.

"Fuck!" Johanna screams, as I notice a knife protruding from her leg that seemed to be thrown by Enobaria. Peeta seems in shock as it looks like Johanna shoved him out of the way of the knives path.

Johanna, although injured, throws one of her axes at Brutus. Her toss seemed to be effective, as it looked like it has seriously injured him. She begins to chase after the District 2 victors as they retreat.

Just as that was about to happen, the Cornucopia begins to spin. Everyone is caught by surprise by this, as everyone is thrown onto the ground. The spinning gets faster and faster. Although I try to hold onto the rock as hard as I can, my grip begins to slip from the wet rocks.

Just as my grip fails me, I feel a familiar hand grip onto mine. I look up and see Finnick giving me a determined look as he holds tightly onto my hand. Despite the chaos that is occurring around us, bodies and weapons are being thrown like ragdolls from the spinning, he refuses to leave his eyes from mine.

He whispers softly, although I somehow am able to hear him above all the noise, "I got you Katniss. Just hang on a little longer."

He manages to maintain his grip on me throughout the entire spinning process, which surprised me since I saw Peeta getting thrown into the water after Johanna lost her grip on him. Once the spinning stops, Finnick continues to hold onto my hand, as if he is afraid that I will float away if he lets go.

I start to say, "Finnick, the spinning is over. You can let go now…"

But he shakes his head profusely as he says, "I have lost so much already. I almost lost you. No way in hell am I letting go yet."

Only when Johanna is trying to help Peeta get the remaining water out that he was choking on after she pulled him from the water did Finnick let go of my hand. But the impression was already made. Now I know how he feels, but I am still unsure how I feel or if I should feel.


	4. Chapter 4

"Don't worry Katniss. We will find each other after everything goes to plan. Just stay with Johanna and get everything into place to kill the remaining careers."

Peeta and I were planning on removing ourselves from the alliance after we kill the last two Careers. I think Peeta felt the same way that it would be too difficult to try and kill these people we have come to like after everything we have gone through. I promised myself that I wouldn't get too close and I failed. The main reason for my failure is none other than Finnick Odair and his stupid ways of worming into my heart.

No one else, including Peeta, knew of the moment that Finnick and I had during the chaos at the Cornucopia. I was afraid of the implications and Finnick seemed content on keeping things the way they are for now. This bothers me more than anything else he has done. Not even his stupid attempts at flirting bothered me as much as his lack of initiative in this situation.

However, right before I left with Johanna to put the wire in place in order to accomplish our goal of eliminating the Careers, Finnick pulled me aside to discuss 'strategy'. Although Johanna rolled her eyes, she gave the both of us a knowing look before giving us our space. While I was wondering if she did know about us, which felt weird to think about, Finnick pulled me a little further away from the rest of the group before he whispered,

"I happened to overhear you and Peeta a couple minutes ago. You still don't trust me. Why? What have I done to make you think that I cannot be trusted?" He asked with a confused look.

I had to cut ties with him, in order to protect him from the wrath of Snow, "I can't afford to trust anyone besides Peeta, Finnick! He is a part of me! Sure, I may not be 'in love' with him. But I am willing to settle with him, since I know that he will be there for me. Other than Prim, I can't think of anyone else that can guarantee that. Even you, since in the end, we are going to have to kill each other. I can't afford to get close to you, only to kill you afterwards!"

Although my voice was initially angry, it shriveled to sadness, as I was struggling to keep my tears back.

Finnick's look of heartbreak was making it near impossible to hold my tears back. I hate hurting him, but it was better this way.

"I'm sorry that you feel that way Ms. Everdeen. I thought that I showed to you that I will always be there for you. Even though you don't feel the same way, I have and always will love you. And, if it were between the two of us in the end, I wouldn't harm you." Finnick whispered in a voice that would best be described as agony and heartbreak.

Before I could respond, Finnick attempted to regain his composure before he said in a casual voice, "Well, if you keep that in mind, you and Johanna will be able to set the trap in the right spot in order to get the best results. Now, get going, you know how Johanna gets when she has to wait too long!"

So here I am, walking with Johanna while trying to get this stupid wire in place. Saying that I am distracted wouldn't do justice for the severity of how badly I am right now. Finnick's heartbroken look keeps running through my mind. So much, that nothing else matters.

Not even that tree branch that I had just accidentally walked into. Even though it did get my mind off of the last time I saw Finnick, it was replaced by imagining him laughing at my clumsiness.

"Hey brainless! Anybody home up there?" Johanna's sarcastic voice interrupts my reverie.

I shake my head in order to try and clear my thoughts as I casually say, "Yeah, I'm good. Just nervous about whether or not this will work."

I can hear Johanna chuckle before she responds with, "Don't worry. Volts does this kind of shit for a living. For god's sake, he won his games because he turned his competition in Tribute Kabobs. You definitely made a smart choice in allies in that respect, although it looks like you royally fucked up on another."

I stop walking and stare at her. What the hell is she talking about?

Apparently, my look conveys the question in my mind, as she halts her own movements and responds with an annoyed look, "He has been through so much and it is hard for him to love. Yet, for some unknown reason, he chose to fall in love with you. Why? I have been wondering that question myself. He has literally risked everything for you and you thank him by breaking his heart. And people say that I am the heartless bitch…"

My look has evolved into a look of confusion as I ask, "You mean Peeta?"

Her annoyed look has evolved into a look of pure anger as she yells, "Oh for Christ's sake! What the hell is wrong with you? No, you moron! I'm talking about Finnick! I may have not heard the entire conversation, but I heard and saw enough. I know you love him, but he doesn't know that! What do you have to lose by telling him the fucking truth? And… Shit they found us!"

I am surprised by her outburst, but I am incredibly confused when her rant was interrupted by a snap of a twig. As I get one of my arrows in place, I suddenly feel an incredibly strong force nail me in my temple.

Johanna whispers after I collapse onto the forest floor, "I won't lie and say that it didn't feel good to give you a good whack on your head, but you will thank me later. Just stay still, trust me."

After she whispers that, I feel a sharp pain in my arm as she pulls out my tracker and what feels like her smearing blood on my throat.

"Remember, stay still."

After she whispers that, I can kind of see her running away and two figures following her. It has been about a minute, before I regain enough of my bearings and return to the tree where the rest of the alliance was earlier.

Beetee looks like he is severely injured as he lays by the tree, but I cannot find Peeta or Finnick.

As I look for them, everything starts clicking into place. Beetee's goal wasn't to kill the Careers, it was to destroy the arena. It looks like I have to accomplish this task.

Without thinking, I attach the end of the wire to my bow and am about to fire the wire, when I hear a disturbance in the bushes near me.

I turn to aim the wire at the intruder, only to see Finnick with his hands up and whispers to me, "Remember who the real enemy is Katniss."

I slowly nod, before I turn the bow back to aiming towards the sky and firing at the force field just as the lightning hits the tree. A loud explosion occurs, as I think the force field is destroyed. As I start to pass out, I swear that I see someone who looks like Finnick walking up to me and picking me up.

When I wake up, I find myself on a ship that looks like one of those Capitol ships that pick up the dead bodies. I look over to see Beetee still unconscious and struggling to stay alive.

"Hey, you're awake." Peeta's voice rings next to me.

I slowly nod, as I am struggling to get everything back into focus.

"Yeah." I mumble.

"Lucky thing Finnick was nearby you. Otherwise, I don't think you nor I would have made it." Peeta says gratefully.

"Where is Finnick?" I ask in a groggy voice.

Peeta gives me a saddened look as he whispers, "The Capitol has him."

I swear that I can literally feel my heart break.


	5. Chapter 5

"Regret is such a fickle monster. It can eat you up just because you said one word incorrectly. It is unforgiving and allows very little to no room for error. Do be afraid of it, but don't go out of your way to welcome it."

My father's words are ringing in my head right now. He gave me many pieces of advice before his accident, but this one seems to have resonated the most. Especially after everything that has conspired in the last 48 hours.

My current regret is immense. It makes it hard to breathe. I have isolated myself from everyone else, including Prim and Peeta. People are beginning to notice this and are starting to question it.

"Katniss, you got a minute?" A familiar voice quietly asks.

I turn around to see Peeta's head peeking around the door of my room, if you want to call it that. It is a part of a bunker, since nuclear is basically the calling card of my new home District 13. I have been recently told that many of the Victors, including Finnick and Johanna, conspired with Haymitch to rebel against Snow as well as to protect both Peeta and I. Although it gave me some answers, new questions arose at the same time. I guess that I was right to not trust Finnick. He just used my emotions to get close to me in order to protect me.

I notice that Peeta is waiting for a response, so I shake my head to clear my numerous thoughts before I respond with a "Sure, what's on your mind Peeta?"

Even in the dimly lit room, I can see Peeta smile gratefully for me allowing him in as he enters my room. Once he shuts the door behind him, he sighs before saying,

"Your sister is worried about you. I'm worried about you. We know something is wrong, that much is obvious. But we are unsure of what. There are multiple theories swirling around the bunker, although I believe that Prim's and my theory is the most accurate. Why won't you talk to her about it, or to me?"

I am grateful for Peeta's concern while I feel guilt at the same time for making my loved ones worry.

I can tell that he wants to say more and is waiting for some sort of confirmation from me to continue. I give him a small smile as I nod for him to continue.

"Well, I am guessing that you want to know our theory. So, hear me out, even if I am wrong. People would expect that you would act this way if I was captured by the Capitol, since we are 'star-crossed lovers'. But, as you can see, I was not captured by the Capitol. Finnick was. I know you Katniss, better than you give me credit for sometimes. I saw how the two of you were during the Games, especially in the end. Whatever you said to him broke him in ways that I have only seen a handful of times. Plus, I know Finnick was the one who saved my life because I heard his voice asking me to treat you right and to protect you. You might feel better if you talk about it."

When I hear what Finnick said to Peeta, my tears begin to fall. Peeta, seeing this, immediately pulls me into a hug and whispers soothing words in my ears. I hate crying, it makes me feel weak. But something about Peeta makes it a little less of a bad thing.

Once I am able to slow down the tears, I slowly pull back from Peeta and respond with, "But you heard Haymitch. He and Johanna, as well as the other victors, were just protecting us. There were no feelings involved from his end. He was just doing his job. I feel so stupid for believing it."

Peeta chuckles before he says, "Welcome to my world Katniss. That is how I felt after the first games, when I realized that you were 'with' me in order to keep me alive. I'll admit, I was quite hurt and felt used when I realized it. And, as hard as this is to say, I was initially quite jealous of the two of you. You may not believe me Katniss, but I don't think that this is the same scenario. I saw the light in his eyes. I should know, since my eyes light up the same way with you. At least hear him out whenever you two see each other again."

I grimace and sigh, "You mean if we ever see each other again."

(Finnick POV)

"The best type of love is the selfless love. Even if you get nothing in return, you should show love. That is the only way to keep your heart and your head in these games. They can bring even the strongest man to his knees."

This was Mags' motto for life. Whether it was her life or mine, she expected people to live that way. That's why she sacrificed herself for us. That's why I sacrificed myself for Katniss.

When the explosion happened in the arena, the force threw me a few feet backwards. But I was able to maintain consciousness and was able to get back onto my feet.

Katniss was not too far from where I landed, so it was easy to find her and carry her to the ship. I knew she was blacking out, so I gently kissed her forehead while I whispered, "I promised that I would never let go Katniss. Never forget that."

It was easy to get her on the ship, since Snow and the peacemakers were still trying to figure out what was going on. I could have easily left Peeta for the Capitol, but I knew that would break Katniss' heart. So I turned back before Haymitch could stop me.

"What the hell are you doing Finnick? We don't have much time left!" Haymitch screams while carrying Beetee onto the ship.

I shook my head while I yelled back, "I'll be right back! Just leave the engine running!"

I knew that this was a suicide mission, but I had to do whatever I could to make sure that Peeta would make it out.

It took a little longer to find Peeta. Once I did, I scooped him up and said something that would break my heart, "I know you love her. Treat Katniss well. She doesn't belong in this world, do whatever you can to keep her away from all this. She deserves so much better than what life has given her. Treat her right Mellark!"

As I was carrying him back to the ship, I could hear the peacemakers running at us. So, I broke into a sprint, knowing that nothing short of death would deter me from my mission.

I was able to lose them long enough to get Peeta on the ship. As soon as I handed off Peeta to Haymitch, we started to run back onto the ship.

But luck wasn't on my side. I soon felt a dart in my neck and knew immediately that it was a tranquilizer. I tried to push through it, but my body soon gave out on me.

I saw what looked like Haymitch start to turn around to try and save me, but I screamed for him to go ahead. I told him that he couldn't risk Katniss and Peeta. It appeared that he nodded in resolution before running onto the ship, which took off as soon as the door closed.

As everything started to go black, I sluggishly rolled onto my back as I saw figures that looked like peacemakers converge on me.

I'm sorry Katniss…


	6. Chapter 6

(Finnick POV)

"So, the golden boy of Panem has decided to fight against those who have given him so much. I would expect this kind of behavior from Ms. Mason and Ms. Everdeen, but I thought that you were above this kind of barbaric behavior. I guess that I was wrong."

Snow growled these words at me when I finally regained consciousness. He thought that he could use the disappointed father route to try and make me talk. When he realized that it wasn't going to work on me, he decided to use more aggressive tactics.

This meant using tracker jacker venom while shoving me into ice water. The combination of the venom inside me and the unforgiving chill of the ice water provided some interesting hallucinations. Several of my hallucinations included Mags dying right in front of me, while several faceless figures held me back. The rest of them included Katniss appearing to run towards me, but she always seemed to die right before she could reach me. What made matters worse was the chilling scream that she would let out when she said my name as she was dying.

Each time I return from the hallucinations, Snow or a peacekeeper would keep asking me if it was really worth protecting a girl who doesn't love me. But Mags' phrase always stuck with me, so I would always answer with a hell yes.

After about a week of non-stop torturing, they finally threw me into a dark cell.

"Who's there?" A familiar voice weakly asked.

"Finnick Odair. Who's asking?"

"Well, I'll be damned. At least the assholes here are giving me some good company." The voice weakly responded in an attempt at sarcasm.

"Johanna? Is that you?"

"Afraid so, Finn. Looks like you are stuck with me." Johanna said in an attempt to not sound defeated, but failed miserably.

The rest of the week went by as such. Me and Johanna having a weak banter, I get tortured first, then Johanna. I found out from her that they were basically electrocuting her while using water, which has really seemed to impact on her willingness to survive. This fact alone broke me, since I always viewed her as the tough but lovable sister.

That's when I knew that I had to act before I completely lost her.

I started with recon. The secrets that some of the high ranking members of Panem was proving to be useful, as I was able to know the basic guard routes in this prison as well as knowing that they were severely undermanned. The next step was to see everything for myself. I pretended to be unconscious, thus preventing the guards from putting the hood over my head. That was how I was able to pick up on the routes that they were taking as well as flaws in the system.

This took about a week before I felt confident enough about the layout and the guards to move forward.

The next step was to use a familiar face to bring in a much needed item to move my plan forward. This meant to use Caesar by pretending to play ball with Snow and to talk against the revolution. Snow can be too predictable, as he immediately jumped on the chance to use the ever popular Finnick Odair as a prop to bring people in to support the fight against the rebellion.

I knew that I had to give Cesar some time to obtain what I needed, so I asked Snow if I could talk to Cesar beforehand in order to 'reacquaint myself' with what the talking points were. He obliged, after he told me about the positives of being 'friends' with him.

He brought in Cesar and everything went as expected. I knew Cesar was secretly in favor of the revolution, but was afraid of Snow and the ramifications that would come with Snow knowing about Cesar's true motivations. I made sure that I asked Cesar for what I wanted in a way that wouldn't get the attention of the peacemakers. I told him that I needed him to give me material in order to 'get my point across' to those near me. Cesar promised me that he will be able to give me what I need during the interview.

So, here I am, casually talking to Cesar about being pro Snow. After a couple minutes of 'casual' conversation, it looks like it is time to be my fake self again.

"So, Finnick, what made you change your mind about dividing the people of Panem?" Cesar asks in his flamboyant manner.

"Well Cesar, I will admit, I had a temporary lapse in judgment and went against something that I normally wouldn't have if I had used simple logic. Snow is simply trying to bring the people of Panem together, not tear them apart, unlike this so called rebellion. Snow is a man of peace who simply wants what's best for Panem and some people just don't seem to understand it. I have learned my lesson and I hope that my fellow members of Panem will do the same."

"Well said Finnick. Finnick Odair everyone!" Cesar yells as he raises my arm up, while casually slipping in what I needed into the sleeve of my shirt.

"Thank you Cesar for everything." I respond with sincerity for the first time in a long time.

Now that I have what I needed, all that I need to do is wait.


	7. Chapter 7

(Katniss POV)

"There are two types of people. One is the kind that will fall apart under the slightest pressure. The other is the kind that rises up during the hardest trials. The moment makes the man, not the other way around."

I remember reading this on a plaque while exploring the bunker, as it has slowly increased on the impact that it has on me. Since Peeta and I talked, I knew that I had to be strong again for others sake. The situation is similar to when my Dad died in the accident. My mother fell apart at the seams, so it was my job to step up and rise to the challenge. That time, it was for Prim's sake. She would have starved to death otherwise.

This time, it is a whole nation that is counting on me to step it up.

I am the Mockingjay, the face of the revolution. People seem to be under the impression that without me, there is no revolution. No pressure for a teenager. I'm sure that plenty of teenagers have that much of an impact on that many lives. I have to keep telling myself that, as stupid as it sounds, to prevent myself from crumbling under the pressure.

I have improvised on my depression methods. I stay strong for everyone else. But behind closed doors, I'm a wreck. It isn't just Finnick that makes my heart ache. No, the time spent here alone has allowed some old demons to return in full force.

The moments where I brushed aside my heartache in order to accomplish a bigger task seemed to have stockpiled up for a moment like this. This means that the nightmares are getting worse, which decreases my chances of getting a decent night's sleep. Peeta has visited me several times and stayed overnight with me to help decrease the nightmares. It has been a slight success.

What's sad is that it isn't so much that _Peeta_ is there helping me, it is the fact that he reminds me of a certain someone who is no longer with me. Although the idea helps chase the nightmares away, the heartbreak of losing Finnick increases to the point that it is hard to breathe.

What hurt more for me is to see the interview that we were able to pick up, although Beetee said something about it being about a day old and that the Capitol has been replaying it nonstop over the past 24 hours. But that fact isn't helping pain decrease. It didn't help at all to see him speak to Cesar about supporting Snow. It looks like Snow offered him a deal and Finnick jumped on the opportunity to betray his friends in order to save himself. But the end of the interview is what took me by surprise. I could have sworn that I saw Cesar slip something to Finnick, but I can't tell what.

Based on the looks of the others faces around me, I am the only one who noticed. In fact, the others seem far too busy arguing about Finnick's true motivations to notice the slip. The other Victors, like Peeta and Haymitch, are arguing for Finnick knowing how to manipulate Snow. While the soldiers, like soldier York, seem to believe that Finnick has sold his soul to save his own skin.

As the arguing increases, my patience wears thinner and thinner. The arguing continues until I snap.

"Will everyone please stop talking about Finnick as if you know what is going on in his head? I'm so sick of people assuming they know him! You all know jack shit about him, so shut up and learn a little more about him before you go off and make assumptions about him! He can be dead for all we know and this is how you honor someone who died for the cause? You people make me sick."

My explosion catches everyone by surprise. Even though I had shown my face more around the bunker, I still remained pretty silent most of the time. Everyone looks shocked, except for Prim, who looks like she is proud of me for standing up for Finnick.

I give Prim a small smile, before I quickly leave the room in order to save face. As I walk back, my thoughts stay on the District 4 victor.

I can't believe that people would question Finnick's true motivations. Even if Finnick doesn't feel the same way for me as I do him, he still displayed selfless acts that prove that he would never betray the revolution. But the people here would rather assume that they know the real Finnick Odair. The think that the real Finnick Odair is the one that they say on the cameras, smiling and flirting.

But I have seen the real Finnick Odair, which is far better than the fake Finnick Odair could ever dream of. That is the one I miss. The one that had the biggest impact on me.

When I reach my room, I close and lock the door in order to hide myself from the world again. That's when I realize that I myself questioned Finnick's motivations during the interview, even if it was for the slightest second. But even so, despite that, I was willing to defend him somewhat blindly against strangers and friends alike. That isn't something I would do on a normal basis.

Damn Finnick, making me defend you. Get your perfect ass back here so I can properly yell at you. Wow, thank god I kept that thought in my head there.

I am grateful that my thoughts are interrupted by a slight knock on my door. I would rather be left alone, but I really don't want to think about my feelings either. So, I don't mind putting up with some other person to prevent me from dealing with my complicated feelings.

When I open the door, the sight of the person in front of me takes all the breath out of me. This can't be real, can it?

"Hello Ms. Everdeen. Did you miss me?"

All I can whisper is, "Oh my God…"


	8. Chapter 8

(No one's POV)

"The most important mission is to rescue the high value targets Odair and Mason. Kill anyone who stands in your way but quietly. Last thing we need is a shootout."

The success of the mission hinged on the capture of these two former Victors. That's why District 13 sent their best trained men in order to decrease the chance of failure. They knew that this was their one chance.

Everything went smoothly. The guards were that blocked their path were killed silently, thus preventing an alarm to be raised. Even the path to the cells seemed pretty easy, as their seemed to be a least two fewer guards than the Intel indicated. But it wasn't that big of a deal. Either Intel miscounted or some of the guards were deployed to help quell the rebellion.

That's when the soldiers reached the cells. Which were empty, except for the two unaccounted guards who look to be dead. One looked like it took a knife to his throat, while the other was an interesting sight to see. There were no indications of any sort of stab wounds, but it looked like his neck was snapped and his uniform was missing. Such a strange sight.

The soldier in charge sighed before scratching his head and groaning, "Where the fuck did they go? Intel said that they were supposed to be here! Coin is going to be pissed!"

(Finnick's POV, approximately 10 hours earlier)

"A man who is patient and waits for his moment to strike is the most dangerous type of man. He is constantly underestimated, but that is a fatal flaw. When he strikes, no one will have seen it coming."

This was running through my head while I waited until the moment was right. I had to wait a little bit longer than I initially thought, as I noticed more and more of the Peacemaker were seemingly being deployed to combat the rebellion. The less men in my way, the better.

During one of the times I pretended to be unconscious, I overheard the guards talking about moving me into my own cell. I knew that this was the perfect time to strike, especially since they were used to me being 'unconscious'. They had underestimated me and they were going to pay for it.

When they finally came to retrieve me and bring me into a different cell, I knew the moment was right. Normally, there were two guards that escorted me and one rover guard who observes everything from a distance. This time, however, there was no rover guard. Snow must have been getting really desperate if he thought that only two guards in this area were a good idea. Once again, his gigantic ego was his undoing.

I had carefully hidden the 'gift' from Cesar in order to not raise any suspicion. The knife he gave me was small enough to hide easily, but large enough to eliminate whoever would be in my way. As they carried me along, I knew that I had to wait just a couple more seconds before I strike.

When we stopped in front of what was supposed to be my cell, one of the guards released his grip on me in order to access the keys. That was my opportunity. I quickly drew my knife and stabbed the guard who was still holding onto me in the throat, killing him instantly.

Luck was on my side, since the Peacekeeper didn't seem to hear the gurgling sound of his friend dying. Since he was so enthralled with looking for his keys, it was easy to sneak up behind him and stab his neck. I knew that I couldn't stab him in order to not deviate from my solid plan, so I knew that a good neck snap would do the trick.

Once he was down, I quickly switched outfits with him and took his keys. Because my strength was less than normal due to the torturing, I had to drag each guard back to the original cell one at a time. But even so, it only took me a few minutes at most to accomplish that.

Once I arrived at the cell, I opened the cell door to see poor Johanna huddled up into a ball.

"If you are going to kill me, make it quick. I don't care if I die anymore. You took away Finnick from me, who was the only thing keeping me going. So, just finish the job and move on." Johanna dejectedly whispered, although a hint of defiance was still there.

My heart broke at the sound of her voice. I whispered after I lifted off the helmet, "Jo, it's me. I'm going to get us out of here!"

I could see her eyes nearly take up her entire face as she whispered, "Finnick? How the fuck? But… Wha? You… Huh?"

I chuckled a little before responding, "Yes Johanna, I have escaped and I am bringing you with me."

Her surprise morphed into depression as she whispered, "No. I am going to die anyway. I would just slow you down…"

I kindly whispered, "No you wouldn't."

"Yes, I will. I'm a shell of what I used to be! There is no point for me to continue!"

My patience is starting to wear a little thin at this point. I try to maintain the kind tone, although I am getting annoyed at her depression.

"We will escape together and you can payback Snow for all that he has done to you!"

Johanna sighed as she whispered, "I guess soooh holy shit! Finnick! What the hell?"

I smiled while adjusting my grip on her as I responded, "Well, you were taking too long. So I helped make the decision for you by picking you up and carrying you the rest of the way. You always complained that you always had to carry the load in your life."

She smacked me as hard as she could as she yelled, "I didn't mean literally you jackass! Goddamn, you are such a little shit sometimes!"

I knew then that the old Johanna was coming back. It was just a matter of when.

Because of the 'secrets' that I had picked up prior to the quell, I knew the route from the prison cell to the hovercraft. Hell, the person even told me where to find the keys. It was moments like that that really prove the importance of obtaining 'secrets' instead of cash. And people thought that I was crazy.

Which leads to the present. About an hour away from District 13. My knowledge of its whereabouts is another product of my intel searching. I knew that I had to cover all my bases before I even thought about leaving this hell hole and returning to Katniss. Even if she doesn't feel the same way. The whole reason for me myself escaping was to see her again. Otherwise, I would have just gotten Johanna on a ship and sent her on her way. It might be a bit selfish of me, but I do want to see Ms. Everdeen again.

While I am still wrapped up in my thoughts, a familiar voice interrupted them.

"Let me guess, you have just finished patting yourself on the back for a 'perfect' execution of your 'perfect' plan, now you are wallowing in self-pity at the thought of Ms. 'Perfect' Fire Girl. Yes, you are that predictable Finn."

I could literally feel the eye roll from her during her entire speech there.

"Well, I'm sorry that I feel bad that the love of my life doesn't feel the same way!" I responds in an almost defensive manner.

Johanna moves to sit next to me before she says, "First off, don't feel bad. It is annoying and I want to punch you for being so whiny. Secondly, what makes you think that she doesn't feel the same way?"

I answer immediately, "I'm not being whiny! I'm brooding!"

She interrupts with "Which is another word for whiny…"

"Secondly, you heard what she said! I totally saw you spying on us! Is there something you know that I don't? Fuck, Johanna! You have to tell me!"

She shook her head, "No, I really don't. Besides, we are like five minutes away from the place right? Just ask her yourself."

As annoying as she is, she has a point. Besides, it is nice to have this banter again, even though I can see the pain and sadness in her eyes.

So here we are, at the door of Ms. Katniss Everdeen. Thank God they have names next to the doors. Otherwise, I would have had to knock on every door to find out where she is. I carried Johanna, once again against her will, with me. I knew that it would be good for Katniss to see the both of us alive, even though we are slightly different people than before.

I knock softly on the door and patiently wait for the door to open. When it does I hear a gasp as I say, "Hello Ms. Everdeen. Did you miss me?"

When I hear her whisper "Oh my god", I knew that Johanna was right. It is great to be back home, with the person I belong.


	9. Chapter 9

(AN: Sorry for the delay! Life has been crazy.)

Finnick Pov:

"A person's words can lie. But their actions in times of hardship cannot. Instincts take over. Lies take a backseat. That's when you know the true spirit of a person. Never forget that."

These words were my father's last words before a Peacemaker took him away from me. But, now I know that my father saw this coming and tried to teach me the important life lessons before it was too late. I owe him so much, he helped me become the man that I am today.

His words echo around me as I see the love of my life stare at me in shock. At least I know without a doubt that she cares about me. To what degree, I am still not sure.

It took a moment for Katniss to shake herself from the initial shock of seeing us. Once that wears off, she quickly charges me and tackles me into a huge bear hug. Although that wears on my broken ribs, I don't mind as I can feel the relief radiating off her.

"Ahem! Nice to see you too Everdeen. As cute as this is, do you think that you can pull yourself together long enough to direct us to the hospital?" Johanna's slightly annoyed voice interrupts our moment, although I can hear the happiness in her voice.

Katniss seems to completely come to when Johanna says this and pulls away from the hug awkwardly.

"Uh, right. Sorry. Just follow me guys. The infirmary is this way."

As she leads the way, Johanna and I hang back enough to have a conversation without being listened in on.

"Why Johanna? Why did you interrupt such a perfect moment?" I half ask, half growl. I needed just a few more moments to make sure that Katniss feels the same as me, but my idiotic counterpart had no problem interrupting that.

"God, this girl has made you whiny. Well, for starters, I was about to barf from the 'cuteness' of the moment. So, I had to save myself from that debacle. And secondly, I saw the way you were wincing when she hugged you. Don't you dare ignore your broken ribs just because Ms. Midol gave you the time of the day." Although I am looking away from her, I can feel her eyes rolling at my 'stupidity'.

I chuckle at her annoyed voice, "Well, I am glad that you are happy for me too. I know that you were smiling for a split second when she was hugging me. Thank you for that."

Johanna limps a little faster in order to prevent me from seeing her face, but I can hear the genuine joy in her voice.

"Well, I have no idea what you are talking about. You must have seen me grimace at the disgusting display. And if you don't believe that, then go fuck yourself and you are welcome."

I laugh incredibly hard at that. Not only was she trying to hide the joy and sincerity, but this is probably the most sensitive that I have ever seen her. Nice to see her open up a little more for me.

I look past Johanna to see Katniss smile genuinely at me, which increases the size of my own. So far, I can see that Johanna may be right about Katniss' feelings for me. But I will never admit that to Johanna's face, lest her ego gets any bigger.

This moment is interrupted by our arrival.

"Well, here we are. The District 13 infirmary. Go ahead and talk to the doctors. They were technically expecting you around this time anyway." Katniss says before she sees the look of confusion on our faces.

How did they expect us to be coming today?

"Oh right. You guys didn't know about the rescue plan. Coin had sent some of her best men to rescue you two from the Capitol. And… I can't imagine that they are thrilled that you weren't there. But they'll manage. Now if you guys excuse me, I'm going to get Haymitch since he can talk to Coin with the best results."

Once she says that, she almost sprints away before we can respond.

"Well, as fun as it is to stare at your girlfriend running away from you, do you think we can go in to prevent ourselves from dying? Yeah? Good. Let's go broody." Johanna interjects while pulling my arm. Even in her weakened condition, she still manages to maintain a death grip on my wrist the whole time and it is intense.

Once we enter the infirmary, the doctors and nurses freeze in what appears to be shock. They literally look like they have seen a ghost.

Before I can speak, Johanna interjects, "Yes, the people that many thought that were dead are here alive in front of you. Praise God, Buddha or whoever the hell you worship here. Now, I am going to give you 10 seconds to get your heads out of your asses and treat my best friend here before I go all District 7 on each of your asses! Move it!"

When she screams that, everyone in the room jumps in fear before sprinting to the both of us and pulling us onto operating tables.

It becomes disorienting once the IV is stuck inside of me, as well as all the injuries begin to present themselves in a very painful manner. In order to distract myself as best as I could from it, I look around me and see the different masked faces poking and prodding me. I crane my head painfully over to my right to see Johanna looking back at me with a bittersweet smile.

"So, I'm your best friend? It goes to show how few of friends you actually have." I say while fighting the pain and the desire to pass out.

I see her roll her eyes as she responds with the same struggle as me, "Oh shut up. I can't imagine that they would have moved their asses if I told them that you were some guy that I was forced to have as company."

We both laugh shortly before I succumb to the black.

See you soon Katniss.


	10. Chapter 10

Katniss Pov:

"There are certain people in this world that know you more than anyone else. Those are the people you surround yourself with. There are times that they know you better than yourself. They will always be there for you."

Another piece of my father's wisdom echoes in my head while I am looking for Haymitch. Despite the multiple disagreements that we have had over past few months, the man has been the closest thing to a best friend and father figure that I can ask for.

So, I know without a doubt that he should be the first one besides me that should know about Finnick and Johanna's return. Although I trust Peeta, my trust for Haymitch is much higher. Even though this is somewhat ironic since Peeta has not lied to me like Haymitch has. I guess I need to address with him as soon as possible.

But in my mind, that can take a backseat for now due to Finnick's (and Johanna's, I didn't forget) return.

I knock persistently on Haymitch's door until I hear an annoyed, "I'M COMING! I'M COMING! STOP POUNDING ON THE GODDAMN DOOR BEFORE I RIP YOUR FUCKING ARM OFF!"

The door flings open to reveal an extremely hung over and pissed off Haymitch.

"As great as it is to see you sweetheart, why the hell are you knocking on my door so insistently at midnight?" Haymitch asks with slight annoyance.

I answer, "Sorry, for waking you up, your highness. But this is actually important. Hear me out."

"Is this about the rebellion?"

"No."

"Is this about Snow?"

"No."

"Is this about Coin?"

"Kinda…"

"Kinda? Are you just saying that so that I don't slam the door in your face?"

"Partially, but it has to do with her as well at the same time."

"You have 5 seconds before I slam the door in your face sweetheart."

"Haymitch! This is serious news!"

"4 seconds."

"If you just listen…"

"3 seconds."

"This is important!"

"2 seconds…"

"Finnick and Johanna are back alive!"

"1 sec… Wait what? They were not due to arrive until 5 am! Where are Coin's soldiers?"

This news seems to instantly cause Haymitch to sober up and not appear as if he was hung over a minute ago.

"I would imagine being pissed off that their goal is not where they expected them to be."

"Wait, they rescued themselves?"

"It appears so. Still want to slam the door in my face?"

"Only because you didn't tell me sooner. I'm guessing that you want me to talk to Coin." Haymitch says rather than asking.

"Well, considering the fact that I'm not exactly high on Coin's list right now, it might be better that you tell her. Lest she blame something on me again."

Haymitch sighs while he chuckles, "I know that you and she aren't exactly on the best terms. And I know that this is not the best situation. But this is the best that we can afford to get, as well as they are offering us protection while fighting against the Capitol. Alright. I'll go. You can't say that I don't do anything for you sweetheart, considering the fact that I am waking up Coin."

Haymitch starts to close the door, before I shove my foot in its path and ask, "You aren't going to go back to bed and fall asleep again, are you?"

"No, no I won't. I like Finnick and Johanna enough not to do that to them. Plus, you won't leave me alone until you know for certain that I am talking to Coin since you are too scared to do so yourself…"

"Thank you?" I ask while rolling my eyes.

"You are most certainly welcome. See? Was it so hard to thank me?" Haymitch responds with sarcasm while ignoring my own sarcasm.

"Now if you excuse me, I need to go change if I want to look halfway presentable while getting my head ripped off for waking up Coin. Wish me luck Katniss."

He closes the door before I can answer.

Whatever, I wasn't going to wish him luck anyway. He somehow has this magic ability to charm the pants off anyone besides me and Peeta anyway. He'll probably have Coin eating out of his hand before I know it.

I return to the hospital to see Finnick just getting out of surgery. All other thoughts leave my mind as I sprint up to his bedside. I am grateful that Finnick was able to return to me. Otherwise, my guilt would have been immense if I never would have had the chance to tell him.

Still though, I don't feel as if I deserve him.

The silent minutes alone with him has brought the doubts back to my head. This makes my mind reel further into its silent depression.

He has done so much.

He saved Peeta, even though no one would have held it against him if he just simply got onto the ship after saving me.

He saved me multiple times during the Games, without asking for anything in return.

He didn't retaliate when I broke his heart cruelly, even though most people would have done so in the same circumstance.

"Far from the truth Katniss, you guys deserve each other."

The voice makes me jump, since I didn't hear anyone enter the room. I turn around to see Peeta looking at me with a sad smile on his face.

"I… I just don't know. He has done so much. And I have nothing to give him." I mumble sadly while turning back to Finnick's sleeping form.

I hear Peeta sigh, "That's not true. You may have not physically saved him, but you saved him emotionally. After that whole Annie Cresta debacle…"

I turn back to Peeta and give him a confused look while I ask, "What do you mean Annie Cresta debacle?"

"It isn't my place to say. I only know because Johanna told me the basic story, although I don't know the whole story. I think that it would be better for Finnick to tell you. Since he knows the story best."

"Oh. I'll remember to ask him when the timing is right." I respond while stifling a yawn.

"You aren't exactly known for your fantastic timing Katniss." Peeta jokes, making me laugh for the first time in what feels like forever.

"You look exhausted Katniss. I can keep an eye on him while you sleep. You want to look your best for him okay?"

I want to argue, but my fatigue is getting the best of me.

"Alright. Promise to wake me up as soon as he wakes up?" I ask while drowsily walking away.

Peeta gives me a genuine smile while opening the door for me, "Of course. Get some rest. You deserve it."

I pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow.

My dreams are more happy than normal, as the hope of Finnick consumes my mind.


	11. Chapter 11

"The hardest thing is to let go of something you never had. That it was never yours to keep in the first place. But it is the most morally right thing to do for all involved. Just let them go."

Finnick Pov:

Whatever drugs the doctors gave me really hit the spot, as I constantly drift in and out of consciousness for what feels like a few hours. During this drifting, I see the doctors wheel me out of the operation room and someone who appears to be Katniss sprint over to my bedside. This thought brings a smile to my face when I fade into the black again.

When I drift in again, it appears that Katniss and what looks like Peeta are having a serious conversation. She looks sad when she looks over at me. At least I think so, since I am also hearing music and a gigantic fuzzy teddy bear is sitting on the other side of my bed. What the hell did the doctors give me?

This is my last thought before I fade back into the black.

This time I drift back in, I know that I am fully awake. The music and the crazy ass teddy bear are gone, as well as everything looks clear again. Katniss is gone too. Did I hallucinate that she was at my bedside earlier? It is entirely plausible, due to the fact that I was hallucinating other things going on around me.

"How are you feeling? Need anything?" A voice removes me from my thoughts.

I crane my head to the left to see Peeta casually leaning against the back wall opposite of my bed. Due to me just waking up, as well as what appears to be mediocre lighting in the room, he appears to be mostly in a shadow. But for some reason, I can still see his eyes as clear as day.

His normally bright and lively eyes appear to have become faded and tired. Poor guy, I wonder what has been going on. If anything, Katniss should bring light to his eyes.

This thought drags down my spirits. I forgot, I gave Peeta the okay to be with her. Dammit, one of the few times that being selfless has bitten me in the ass.

Whatever, at least I know that she will be taken care of.

Johanna's voice rings in my head, "Remember what I told you, you idiot. Stop being so damn whiny and man up!"

I chuckle at the sound of her voice.

When I look back at Peeta, it looks like he is giving me a confused look. Right, he can't hear Johanna's voice. Now I look like an idiot.

I rasp out as best as I can while I close my eyes to focus on my voice.

"Sorry, just thought of something funny in my head. Shit, my throat is dry."

"Here." Peeta's voice sounds from what appears to be my left.

I open my eyes to see a glass of water in my face. I start to grab for the water, but my arm strength appears to be non-existent.

"Don't worry Finnick. I'll hold onto the glass while you drink. Just nod when you are ready and nod when you are finished." Peeta kindly says while giving me a smile that teetered between kind and heartbroken.

Once I had enough water, he sets down the glass and gives me look that appears to be as if he is trying to read me.

I clear my throat before I ask, "Are you okay? Something on your mind Mellark?"

Peeta's look softens when I ask.

"Do you promise to take care of her? Like for the long run?"

I look directly into his eyes as I answer, "Of course. She means the world to me. I would never leave her."

Peeta sighs before he continues, "I was initially wary about you before the Games officially started. You were the playboy of the Capitol, breaking hearts left and right. So, when you started to flirt with Katniss before the Games, I got angry…"

"Based on what my 'reputation' was, I don't blame you my friend." I interrupt.

Peeta continues, "Even so, I let my feelings cloud my judgment and prevent me from seeing the truth. Back then, I didn't realize that we were all in the same boat. Rather, I thought that it was my and Katniss in one, while everyone else was in another. I thought that you were an entirely different species. An errand robot boy for Snow who would kill us in a heartbeat at Snow's command."

"But…" I start to interject, but Peeta holds his hand up to indicate that he isn't done.

"However, once the Games started, I really began to see you guys as innocent kids like us. Sure, some of you were robots under Snow, but not all of you. You more so than anyone else I saw in the Games. You became an entirely different person, especially with Katniss. You were kind, gentle and nothing like the tool that we met beforehand. You selflessly saved her life multiple times when it would have been easier for your own safety not to. And don't tell that it was your duty. The looks you gave her during the Games say otherwise."

Peeta pauses to regain his bearings. I can see the impact that this is having on him. Once he feels well enough, he continues.

"Plus, you saved me. It would have been easier for you to leave me for dead. I owe you my life and I will never forget that. Not only that, but you tell me to take care of her. You put her happiness ahead of your own life. You are definitely not the boy I thought you were. Rather, you are definitely the man that she needs. So, I only ask that you take care of her and her heart. Beneath the tough exterior is a delicate soul that has been through so much. You are what she needs. Just take care of her."

I give him a genuine smile as I answer, "Of course Peeta. You have my word."

Peeta smiles and answers, "Good. Because, if you break her heart, I won't hesitate to kill you. Don't forget that."

Even though it shouldn't scare me, the threat causes a chill to go down my spine.

I gulp and shake my head, "No. Of course I won't. I would never dream of it."

Peeta's smile widens.

"Good. Now, let me get Katniss. She demanded that I wake her up as soon as you come to…"

My eyes widen.

"Wait, so she was at my bedside earlier?"

Peeta nods and says, "Yep. In fact, the only reason that she isn't here right now is because I had to pry her off of you and make her go to bed. She really does care about you."

As Peeta leaves to get Katniss, my heart flutters in joy.

So, she really was here.

My joy is temporarily paused by the random thought.

'Does this mean that the teddy bear was real too?'


	12. Chapter 12

"Reuniting with the one that you love is both the greatest and scariest experience one can imagine. You get to see your loved one again, but you fear that things have changed between the two of you over time. You wonder if they still love you. You fear that they have found someone else. What makes matters worse is that only they can assuage those fears. The moment of truth."

Katniss Pov:

My mind keeps shifting back and forth between what those bastards did to Finnick and this mystery that is this Annie girl. Of course I am worried that Finnick might attack me as soon as he sees my face, as I wouldn't put it past the Capitol and Snow to try and brainwash him. However, I am not sure if I am more afraid of being physically harmed as much as emotionally harmed.

What's sad is that I am not all worried about being injured if Finnick snaps. Rather, I'm terrified that he won't recognize me or that he will hate me.

Which brings my mind back to this Annie lady.

What is so special about her?

Is she Finnick's girlfriend or wife?

Was everything that happened over the last month or so a ruse?

As I attempt to deal with these questions during my fruitless attempt to sleep, I hear a light knock on the door.

"Hey Katniss, you awake?" A voice that I can easily recognize as Peeta's rings through the door.

I nod before I realize that he can't see that action.

"Yeah, come on in." I quietly respond, as I feel the effects of the fatigue weighing on me.

The door slowly opens to reveal Peeta standing outside, wearing a gentle smile.

When he doesn't make an attempt to enter the room, I give him an inquisitive look as I mumble, "Uh… You can come in, you know…"

He chuckles as he shakes his head and answers, "I could come in. But that would also mean that you wouldn't get to see a certain District 4 tribute who has woken umph!"

I interrupt Peeta's answer by nearly tackling him in a hug and thanking him profusely.

He pulls away and awkwardly pats me on the head as he says, "Yeah yeah. I know you are grateful. As much as I enjoy you hugging me like this, you gotta save some of that for Finnick. He's waiting for you."

I give him a quick smile before I turn around and start sprinting towards the hospital wing.

Nothing else is running through my mind as I running excitedly to Finnick's room.

I burst through the doors, although I know that I will incur the wrath of the night shift nurses.

"Finnick! You are awake!"

The subject of my joy turns to me before giving me a genuine smile. This smile immediately warms my heart, as I know that he still loves me above all else and that I have nothing to be afraid of. Even with the rebellion going on around us as I know that people are dying as I speak, it doesn't matter at this point. His smile insolates me from the hell occurring around us.

"Are you going to just stare at me, or are you going to at least give me a hug?" Finnick asks with a hint of sarcasm while still wearing the same smile as before.

I start to dash towards him, before one of my fears resurfaces.

What if he has been brainwashed and is using this ruse to harm me?

Finnick notices the halt in my movements almost immediately, as he tilts his head in a way that would make even me label as adorable.

"What's wrong Katniss? Are you okay?"

My eyes start welling up before I ask, "Did Snow brainwash you to think that I am the enemy?"

Finnick's eyes widen in concern, as I can feel him looking into my soul.

"Katniss, I won't lie. They tried. Like, they _really_ tried. But they forgot about the fact that I have built up my mental state enough after all the shit they put me through over the years. I acted like they succeeded, in order to prevent them from trying something that might succeed. But I promise you Katniss, I'm still the same guy. You have to believe me, please."

I can see Finnick's heart break as he pleads, which causes mine to begin to break as a result.

I give him a watery smile as I respond with, "Okay, I believe you."

Finnick's heartbroken look is quickly replaced by a look of relief as he says, "Good. Now, don't make me come out of this bed to get a hug from ya Everdeen. And no, I will not take no for an answer."

I chuckle at his words as I quickly walk over and give him a tight hug.

"AH! Easy Everdeen! I know you missed me, but I would like to use my lungs after this!" Finnick yelps.

I quickly back up while saying, "Shit, I am so sorry. Oh my God, do you need a nurse? Or…"

My panic is interrupted by Finnick giggling, which was something I thought that I would never see.

"You jackass…" I mumble in annoyance.

"Aw… I'm sorry! I couldn't resist! Want an apology hug?"

"Will you still be a jackass?"

"I promise, no jackass." He answers while giving me a genuine smile.

"Fine." I respond before I timidly wrap him back into a hug.

As soon as he wraps his arms around me, I am pulled onto the bed with him.

"That's better…" He sighs while tightening his grip on me.

"Finnick, I can't breathe…" I mumble while trying to fidget out of his grip. Even with someone like Finnick hugging me, I still hate being hugged.

His smile grows as he sees me squirm.

"I have to call bullshit on that love. You just hate hugs."

"What? I'll have you know that… Wait, did you say love?"

Finnick looks down shyly while he mumbles, "Yeah…"

"Finnick…"

He looks back into my eyes with a look that a combination of confidence and vulnerability.

"I'm not afraid to admit it to you anymore. I'm in love with you Katniss. Before you say that you are too screwed up to be loved, look at me. We can be screwed up together. Now, I hope you feel the same way. But if not, my love for you will never cease. Never doubt that. I will always be there for you."

I try to respond, but I feel myself choking on the words.

"Finnick, I…"

(To be continued!)


	13. Chapter 13

"A moment can define so much. Whether it be a relationship, the path a person will go, or the person themselves. A person defines the moment, which in turn, defines them."

Katniss Pov:

"Finnick, I…"

I can feel the words dying to come out, but struggling to come out. Finnick continues to give me a patient and understanding look, which is a double edge sword. I want to say what's on my mind, but I am afraid.

I have seen what love has done to people. My mother became a zombie after my father's death. I view myself as an independent woman, so the idea of falling apart at the seams because of a guy doesn't sound all that appealing to me.

I am a self-defining person who doesn't need someone else to define me.

I have told myself this over the years. And over the years, this has worked.

No one has been able to break through my self-made walls.

Not Gale.

Not Peeta.

No one.

Except for this stubborn man who is patiently waiting for my answer.

If I tell him the truth, I risk hurting the both of us because I am damaged goods. If I tell him the lie, I risk hurting the both of us because my fears.

I'll tell the lie. That way, the pain will be less.

Just as I was about to speak, my father's words resonate in my mind. He always taught me to be open to love, no matter where it came from.

'Even if you failed after taking a risk, at least you can say that you tried. Living in fear is not a way to live. In fact, it isn't living at all. You are just simply existing. The greatest things occur once a person takes a risk.'

My father always loved saying this to me, as he always believed in taking risks despite the situation. He wanted me and Prim to get out of the slums of 12, even if it was technically impossible due to societal standards. Yet, he always wanted us to remember where we came from. He wanted us to stay grounded. He never wanted us to forget who we were.

Before my father died, I was a risk taker. I was more daring. I actually had gotten myself beaten a couple times by the Peacemakers because I constantly defied Capitol laws. But, no matter how many times I was beaten, I always came back swinging.

The constant beatings didn't change me.

My father's death did.

Once he died, I realized that I couldn't take any more chances. Otherwise, I would risk my family's well-being and put them in even more peril than they already were. The most rebellious thing I did since then was hunt, but that was only because it was really the only possible way for the family to survive. The rebellious child that was Katniss Everdeen died when her father did.

And never had his words rang as true as they did now, as I realized how I was living.

There was nothing wrong with how I lived after he died, it kept the family afloat. But at what cost?

I gave up myself so that others have a chance to live. I gave up on my dreams in order to give Prim a chance to pursue hers. I will never regret the choices I made to keep her safe from the world around us. She didn't deserve to see the ugliness that existed around us.

But my father's voice responded to this with a question of his own.

'But did you deserve to see the world's ugliness at such a young age?'

Of course not, but that doesn't mean that I had a choice. After my father died, someone had to step up and provide for the family. My mother was sure as hell not in position to do so, after her crippling depression turned her into a shell of her former self. Prim was too young and pure to be forced into such a compromising position.

Which left me.

'Fair enough. But take a look around, your family is safe. They are being taken care of. They are content. What about you? Are you content? How about taking care of yourself now? This is as good of time as ever to be selfish. You deserve it.'

You know what? You are right.

I deserve a moment of selfishness. My mother has freed herself from most of her depression, although she has moments of relapse. Prim has told me before that she is not a child anymore, that she is starting to become her own person. That girl has grown up so quickly while I was gone. I guess she had no choice either.

This is my chance.

This is my opportunity to do something for myself.

'Atta girl. I knew you were still in there behind that tough shell. Take a chance, you might be surprised.'

Thanks Dad. You were always my North Star, guiding me to where home is.

A hand waves in my face as a familiar voice interrupts my thoughts.

"Katniss, are you okay? Katniss?"

I turn to notice Finnick's patient look has turned into a combination of patient and worry.

I nod slowly while I answer, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking. Sorry about that."

Finnick gives me a look of understanding, with a hint of anxiousness mixed in there as well.

"It's okay. You didn't miss anything. I just thought that your brain finally gave up on trying to keep up with you."

I give him a cold glare in response. Only he would think that it would be a good idea to insult me in a moment like this.

He reads my glare instantly and quickly adds, "Sorry. When I get nervous and uncomfortable in a situation, I start trying to make jokes. Just a nervous reaction."

I can tell he feels guilty about it, so I drop the glare as soon as he finishes apologizing.

He does deserve an answer.

Better give him one in a way that he might like.

"Well, just because I love you, doesn't mean that I'm going to allow you to be a jackass. If anything, I'm going to be tougher on you for that…" I sarcastically add with a little smirk on my face.

"Aw, come on Everdeen! I'm not a jackass! That hurts my… Wait, what? Did you just say what I thought you said?" Finnick asks in joyful confusion.

I playfully roll my eyes before I respond, "And Johanna calls me brainless… And yeah, you jackass, you heard me right."

I always thought his genuine smile was attractive. But his elated smile beats that one by a country mile.

I quickly add, "Just, let's try and go slowly. I just…"

His hand covers mine as he interrupts with a knowing look and says, "I know. I agree."

"Thank you."

"Can you stay with me, here, tonight?"

"Okay."

I sink into his arms, knowing that I made the right choice.

Just as I am about to fall asleep, the doors fling open.


	14. Chapter 14

"Don't expect the worst thing to happen when you are happy. Sometimes, just accept the happy moment and be happy. Don't let your fears ruin your happiness."

Katniss Pov:

I jump in surprise as I see Haymitch grinning at me in a way that I know he gets what just happened to me.

"Hello sweetheart, Finnick. About damn time! Anyway, I talked to Coin. Although she is annoyed, she is satisfied that both Finnick and Johanna are okay. Her only condition is that you and Finnick fight with the soldiers of 13. Peeta has already been training and Johanna is exactly in the best condition after everything that happened. Anyway, you guys agree?"

I sigh as I ask, "Do I really have a choice?"

"Not really."

I look over to Finnick to notice him giving me a curious look as he says, "I'll go wherever you go."

"What about your injuries?"

Finnick smirks, "They are just flesh wounds. I'll be fine in a couple hours."

I groan out, "Fine. We'll join."

Haymitch grins, "Good. I thought that I would have had to twist your arm a little more, since you seem to have that track record. But, I guess hell is freezing over. I should have seen that coming as soon as I saw you two cuddling up and not moving an inch since I came in."

"Crashing in is more like it…" I grumble.

"There we go, the world is right again! Sweetheart has said her smarmy comeback!"

I roll my eyes at his stupidity.

"How much have you had to drink Haymitch?"

His grin grows as he answers with, "Actually, I'm quite dry. Only had 3 shots of jaeger and a shot of vodka. I would consider that an accomplishment. Wouldn't you?"

For any other person, they would be puking their guts out and people would be worried about their help. But Haymitch was right, it was a huge step for him.

But I can't give him the satisfaction of agreeing with him.

"Congrats, you are now half man, half liquor. Step in the right direction." I sarcastically respond.

His grin doesn't fall, as we both know that it is my way of congratulating him.

I look back over to see Finnick smirking at the exchange.

"You are enjoying this, aren't you Odair?"

He lightly pecks me on the cheek before he enthusiastically responds, "This is a great glimpse into how to deal with you Katniss. I'm learning!"

I lightly punch him on the shoulder while I mumble, "Shut up…"

He laughs and lightly shoulder bumps me in response.

Our moment is interrupted by Haymitch once again when I hear a throat clear.

"What now Haymitch?"

"Well, as nice as it is to see you be somewhat sensitive to someone that isn't a family member or Gale, I have one more piece of news to give to you. But, since you have been mean to me, I am not sure that you deserve to hear it…"

I growl and glare in annoyance at his stupidity.

"Just tell me Haymitch. We all know that you want to tell me. Right Finnick?"

I glance over to see Finnick in agreement as he says, "You know that I will agree with you when you are right, but she has a point Haymitch."

Haymitch rolls his eyes.

"Oy vey. What happened to the idea of bros before h…"

"If you want to keep your balls, I would shut up Haymitch…"

Haymitch throws his hands up in defeat.

"Fine, fine. Anyway, here is the good news. I'm getting married!"

My jaw drops in confusion.

What the hell?

Who the hell was he marrying?

Haymitch notices my obvious confusion immediately.

"Right. You don't know the whole story. Effie and I have been seeing each other secretly in order to prevent Snow from knowing and harming her. We have been together for several years now and I felt that this was as good a time as ever to tie the knot with her."

"But wasn't she a prisoner at the Capitol as well?"

Haymitch's grin falls as he answers, "Yes, she was. But she was able to continue her ruse long enough for them to believe that she was mentally incompetent. That way, they didn't harm her. They just left her alone in her cell. Coin's men were able to find her while they were looking for the two of you."

I look over to Finnick.

"Did you know about this?"

He shrugs as he answers, "I had no idea about the prisoner part. I'm just as surprised as you are about that. But I had the gist of them being together, but he made me swear not to tell anyone about it. Otherwise, he feared that Effie would have to deal with Snow's wrath because of her connection to Haymitch. Besides, it wasn't my place to tell anyone anyway. Better to get it from the source instead of the resident 'Man Whore'."

I roll my eyes as I ask, "Did you really just call yourself a man whore and use quotations when you called yourself a man whore?"

"Yeah, I did. Sorry, used my sense of humor again to try and overcome the discomfort. I really hate to see my longtime friend so sad. So, you aren't mad that I didn't tell you?"

I sigh, "No, I'm not mad. I guess we all have secrets to hide from Snow, huh?"

Both Haymitch and Finnick nod soberly in agreement.

I turn back to Haymitch.

"So, when is the wedding?"

His grin returns when he bring the wedding back up.

"It should be within the next week. Effie and I have waited far too long for this day, so once we were free, we knew that we had to tie the knot as soon as possible."

"So, does this count as an invitation?"

"Yes sweetheart, this counts as an invitation. It will be filmed by Beetee and displayed for the Capitol to see. I personally asked for this, since I wanted to put in my own personal 'fuck you' to the bastard in charge. Anyway, best I get going. I need to check up on Effie to see how she is holding up. Sleep tight lovebirds."

As soon as he closes the door, I turn to Finnick and ask, "This means that everyone knows that we are together now, huh?"

Finnick wraps his arms around me again as he chuckles and answers, "I'm afraid so love. Sober Haymitch and Effie mean that everyone in District 13 will know in the next half hour."

I groan, "Shit…"

"Hey, it's all good. About time that I rumored to be with someone I actually love." He says while giving me his giddy smile.

My own smile appears as I begin to return to sleep.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't make me barf Odair."

As I fall asleep, I hear him chuckle as he increases his grip on me.


	15. Chapter 15

"The best fighter is the one with nothing to lose. They have nothing to fear, they have no one to love. Those who have someone to love have everything to lose."

Finnick Pov:

A couple of days have gone by since I have confessed my love for Katniss and everything has been going fantastically. I am starting to improve well enough to convince the nurses to begin to move around the hospital with a limited amount of supervision. This means that I get to visit Johanna when Katniss is training.

It isn't that Katniss or Johanna dislike each other. It's the hospital authorities being worried with Johanna's PTSD acting up at the wrong time and hurting someone 'valuable' to the rebellion. The only reason I was able to visit her constantly was because it became immediately clear that I was the only one who could calm her down during her panic attacks.

However, I had a great feeling that she was going to improve vastly today.

I softly knock on the door.

"Johanna?"

"Yeah…"

"It's me, Finnick."

I hear the slight increase of happiness in her voice when she says, "Oh hey, come in."

I slowly open the door in order to prevent startling her and hobble into her hospital room. Even though I have improved vastly lately, I still have a slight limp due to my knee being smashed in repeatedly by one of the Peacemakers because I said something negative about Snow.

Even though the knee still hurt like a bitch, I refused to become a Morphling like some of the other previous victors had done. I had a high pain tolerance, so I knew that I could overcome the pain over time.

The room is dark, as normal, because of Johanna's depression. As usual, I throw open the curtains to let the artificial light in.

And, as usual, she says, "You fucking dick! Goddammit Finnick!"

I turn to her and smile softly as I respond with a sarcastic "You were looking a little pale, thought you could get a little tan."

I see her shake her head vigorously before she responds with a glare as she said, "Even after all these times, you still try to find new ways to piss me off. Why boyfriend of brainless, why?"

I roll my eyes playfully at her anger, but a hint of a smile graces my face when she mentions the word 'boyfriend'. No matter how many times people say that, it never gets old. I can't believe that I am so fortunate and lucky that I was able to find the love of my life and not lose them to Snow, especially after all that I have experienced and that I have seen happen to other victors.

"You are making that stupid face again…" Johanna's voice interrupts my reverie.

I give her a goofy grin. I know what she is talking about, since we have this conversations all the time. But, because it is more fun to piss her off, I innocently ask, "Oh, whatever do you mean, my dear angry counterpart?"

I see her give me a hardened glare as she answers with, "You are a pain in the ass. Anyway, it's that stupid ass look that you give whenever you think about her. It always makes me want to puke."

I give her my puppy dog look that makes her roll her eyes exaggeratingly in response.

"Aw, why do you want to hurt my feelings Johanna? I'm so happy, why are you trying to bring me down?"

She chuckles lightly at my stupidity before she closes her eyes and sighs, "To be honest, I am…"

My playfulness melts away when I sense her vulnerability.

I limp over from the curtains and sit down in the chair next to her bed. I give her an encouraging look that hopefully will her know that she is safe and that she can continue.

She opens her eyes to see me give her this look. Although she looks a little uncomfortable, she mostly gives me a look that lets me know that she is encouraged by my kindness.

She sighs again before she continues.

"I'm so sick and tired of losing any and everything that I love. Whether it be my dad, my brother or my dog. I have lost them all due to that asshole wanting me to suffer for shits and giggles. I had a fiance once. I was going to marry him once we were both 18. But, after I refused Snow's demand of doing what you did. Back then, I thought that you were a coward. Now, I realize that you were trying to protect those close to you."

When she takes a moment to collect herself, I ponder some of the things that she had said. I never knew that she had a fiance. She feels the most comfortable with me. Yet, she never mentioned a word about him. But I understand, especially with everything that happened with Annie. I know that this is part of the reason as to why Johanna was telling me this. As we have discovered, the both of us have more in common than we used to think.

I notice that she is looking at me again, silently asking if she can continue. She knows that she is talking about a sensitive subject for the both of us.

I nod at her and give her a gentle smile.

She continues.

"Anyway, I return home and saw him smiling at me. He started calling my name as he still viewed me as Jo, not as some psycho murderer who slaughtered innocent children. I thought that everything was going to be okay, that everything was going to return to normal. That was when I saw the Peacemaker right behind him. I screamed at him to look out, but it was too late. He turned around to see a knife stab him right in the throat, right in front of me. They then trapped my family in the house that my great great grandfather built and burned the house to the ground. They made sure to not let anyone survive that as well as make me see the entire thing. That changed me Finnick. It fucking changed me."

I have to refrain from tearing up at her story. I know that I have stay strong for her, but I can feel her pain from a mile away. I slowly move my hand to grasp hers in a comforting gesture. Although she is startled at first, she gradually relaxes into my touch.

She gives me a weak smile as she says, "Thank you Finnick. For everything. You are all that I have left."

I give her a small smile in response as I whisper, "Of course Johanna. I'm always here for you. I'm sorry that you had to suffer through that. And I am so sorry that you had to keep that in for so long. No one deserves that burden ever."

I can tell that she is physically drained after her confession, as her eye lids start to droop. I squeeze her hand reassuringly before I let it go.

"Finnick?" She whispers.

"Yes Jo?"

"If you tell anyone this story, I'll kick your ass so fucking hard. Don't think that I won't."

I smile at her words, knowing that she is on her way back to the girl that I know and love.

"Of course not Jo. I won't. I know not to mess with you." I softly answer before I quietly start walking to the door.

Right before I reach the door, I hear Johanna whisper one more thing.

"Finnick?"

"Yeah?"

"Close the fucking curtains you idiot."


End file.
